The Finest Ingredients in the U.S.A.

In the spirit of the Fourth of July, I purchased a bag of the most blatantly patriotic marshmallows in existence at the request of my friends. In addition to loving the U.S. of A., these marshmallows are double the size of regular marshmallows, and offer special s'mores instructions calling for two whole graham crackers & an entire chocolate bar. Perhaps a little too American for me.

Wave that flag as you roast one of your relatives, Marshmallow Man.

If the patriotism & size of the marshmallows isn't enough to entice you, they use some pretty excellent buzz words and standard misleading labeling to convince you that these marshmallows are totally good for your health & well being. Check it out:

"Premium Quality"

Whoa, they are NATURALLY fat AND gluten free!? Since 1917! They must be good for me.

Only the FINEST ingredients, and those ingredients are produced in the U.S.A.

Now you are probably wondering the same thing we were, what exactly are the finest ingredients produced in the U.S.A.? It's quite a bold claim to make, and would be relative to the kinds of ingredients in production in the U.S.A.

Are you ready to find out what they are?

I love me some tetrasodium pyrophosphate...it's only "slightly toxic".

Now you know the finest ingredients produced in the good ol' U.S. of A. They would be sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, water, gelatin, who knows, and tetrasodium pyrophosphate. But remember, they're premium quality, and naturally fat & gluten free. So, totally still eat them. I think perhaps I'll be unpatriotic and try to find some ingredients elsewhere if this is truly the best we can do.

Side Note: We did enjoy a fantastic, and pretty much from scratch dinner that I completely forgot to photograph, and I enjoyed some extra dark chocolate while my comrades roasted the super sized marshmallows.